Taryn’s work is hardly out of the ordinary in and of itself. 20, 2018.There's not a single Prime Day deal for sex toys? Come on. This is an updated version of a piece first published on Dec. If you’re the friend or family member of someone who tells you they’re happily single – believe them.Īnd if you’re single on Valentine’s Day, consider celebrating the varied loves of your life: your friends, your family, your furry companions, and, most of all, yourself. If you’re single, you could take unwanted questioning as a teachable moment. Understanding the reasons people have for remaining single might help to handle family pressures. But assumptions that friendships are less significant than romantic partnerships hide their value. Many singles have close friendships which are just as valuable as romantic partnerships. Single and alone – or lonely?įar from the stereotype of the lonely single, lifelong singletons are less lonely than other older people, according to psychologist Bella DePaulo, the author of “ Singled Out.” Nor are singles alone. Nor do they believe that they would be better off with one. One such group, The Asexual Visibility and Education Network, for example, promotes the understanding that lack of sexual attraction is normal for asexual people, and lack of romantic feelings is normal for aromantics.Īsexual people, like aromantics, challenge the expectation that everyone wants a romantic, sexual partnership. Since the early 2000s, asexual people have exchanged ideas and organized through online groups. When asexual people are treated as “abnormal” by doctors or therapists, it does them a disservice. As they failed to develop sexual attractions during puberty - while their classmates did - they asked themselves, “Am I normal? Is something wrong with me?”īut while asexuality is sometimes misunderstood as a medical disorder, there are many differences between an asexual orientation and a medical disorder causing a low sex drive. Both asexual people and aromantics face a lack of understanding.Īngela Chen, a journalist who wrote a book about asexuality, reports that her asexual interview subjects suffered from a lack of information about asexuality. Aromantics may have sexual feelings or be asexual, but they do not have romantic feelings. Like asexuality, aromanticism is an orientation. Asexual people can have romantic feelings, wanting a life partner to share intimate moments with and even cuddle – but without sexual feelings.īut some asexual people are also aromantic, that is, not interested in romantic relationships. Just as heterosexual people feel sexual attraction to members of a different sex, and gay and lesbian people feel attraction to members of the same sex, asexual people simply do not feel sexual attraction. Asexuality is not simply the behavior of abstaining from sex, but an orientation. And so, it’s possible that the true numbers could be higher.Īsexual people do not feel sexual attraction. Because asexuality is still little-known, some asexual people might not identify as such. Who are asexuals and aromantics?ĭata from a 1994 British survey of more than 18,000 people showed 1% of the respondents to be asexual. For example, there are those, referred to as “asexuals” and “aromantics,” who lack interest in sexual and romantic relationships. As sociologist Arlie Hochschild has argued, marriage brings extra work for women, making it less attractive than single life for some.įor other people, being single is simply a relationship preference or even an orientation. Some women become single mothers by choice. Jelena Danilovic/Īs I show in my book “ Minimizing Marriage,” people have many different political or ethical reasons for preferring singlehood.
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